Wearing nothing but confidence and a smile!

If you would have told me that 2020 would include me becoming a Boudoir ambassador, I would have called you crazy.  If you would have told me that 2020 would include me actually doing a Boudoir shoot, I would have said “Ha, Ha… not this chick”.  Well to all of you, those that I know and those who I have not had the pleasure of meeting, let me first offer my sincerest apology as I was wrong on both counts.  

To be honest, boudoir photography was not on my radar until a friend of mine sent me an invitation to a group on Facebook.  It was there that I learned, the beauty and the art that is Boudoir photography.  Reading all the testimonials and seeing all the pictures, made me curious.  Could I do this? Do I have the confidence to do this?  What will people think? What will my husband think?  All of these questions were running through my mind.  

The answers, well of course I can do this, I am a woman I can do anything.  The confidence, let’s get back to this. What will people think?  Like a friend told me who the heck cares what they think. In today’s society we depend too much on others opinions of us. How many likes a picture gets on Instagram or Facebook. How many followers we have on social media, but in the end what does that do for us?  Does the opinion of complete strangers really have that much impact on your life?  The answer No. The only opinion that should matter about anything is your own. 

What will my husband think?  Mark is a man of few words, which is why I love him and he is the perfect match for me.  He told me if I want to do it, do it. Life is too short.  Perfect answer, right.  Sorry ladies he is all mine and I am not letting him go! 

So, let us revisit the question about confidence.  When I got the email stating that I was selected as an ambassador, I was over the moon excited.  It was one of the best days of my life.  I had applied for something that was 100 percent outside of my comfort zone and there was no turning back.  I met with Stefanie a short time later to sign the contract and to go over the schedule of group shoots and to talk about my own shoot.  The entire drive to the studio, I was nervous, but as soon as I walked in it was so calming and inviting.  Stefanie is welcoming, genuinely nonjudgmental and just fun to be around.  That day, the shoot date was booked, the confidence began to rise. The excitement was taking over and the anxiety was beginning to disappear. 

As the shoot neared, I did my day of pampering and then the packages started to arrive. All of these lacey things, then I started to panic, because things were not fitting the way that I thought, the quality of the products was not as it looked.  Again panic. what to do, what to do.  Stefanie came to the rescue telling me not to worry to pack a whole bunch of stuff and that we would make it work.  I inhaled deeply and said “Okay, that is what I will do”.  

Fast forward to shoot day. I was watching the clock the entire time counting down the minutes before I needed to leave my house.  I arrive at the studio, walk in and instantly feel like a rock star. Getting my hair and make-up done, I was thinking that this is what it must be like to be a model.  Laying out all the stuff that I brought and picking the perfect combinations for the shoot.  What will be the most fun and showcase my personality because this is all about me. My time to be selfish, to be sexy, beautiful, silly, sultry. I remember putting on the first outfit and looking at myself in the mirror and thinking “Whoa… look at me…. I am HOT!! My husband is damn lucky”.   

When I walked out of the bathroom to find Stefanie standing there with her camera, she looked at me smiled and said, “Let’s have some fun” and that we did.  I cannot recall how many photos we took that day or how many outfits I changed into or how many times I was laughing. But I will tell you what I do remember. I remember feeling like the sexiest woman on the earth. I remember feeling so empowered. I remember feeling confident.  That confident feeling has not left me since the shoot. 

This shoot has helped to ignite something in me that was lost a long time ago. This boudoir shoot helped me remember the girl I used to be the one who oozed confidence, the girl who did not care what people thought about her. That girl is now a woman, a woman whose confidence flame was reignited by the clicks of a camera and the artistic eye of a boudoir photographer.